


two secrets

by MarshmallowFudgeUp



Category: All For the Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, M/M, Trans Male Character, Wrong Pronouns, handjob, trans!neil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2016-08-23
Packaged: 2018-08-10 12:31:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7845028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarshmallowFudgeUp/pseuds/MarshmallowFudgeUp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha Wesninski was left behind when she and her mother ran. The first name was Nathaniel. It felt right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	two secrets

— — —

Neil knew Kevin couldn’t recognize him.

He couldn’t recognize him, but he might recognize her. Her, with fiery curls down her back and freckles spotted across her nose. Her, with glacier eyes and long lashes. Her, with an exy racket and a sadistic father.

Natasha Abram Wesninski. Now Neil Josten.

He felt sick with relief when he realized Kevin didn’t see her.

— — —

“You can’t ask me about them,” he said at last. “I won’t talk to you about it. Okay?”

“Okay,” Abby agreed easily. “But know that when you want to, I’m here, and so is Betsy.”

Neil peeled off his shirt, brown eyes fixed on Abby’s face. She couldn’t hide her surprise and shock.

He had curves that he despised, scars that he loathed. Lies of who he is and stories of who he was. Breasts pressed by binder, shoulders not broad enough. Hot iron on his skin and knives in his stomach.

Neil offered his arms. “Do I have track marks?”

— — —

Someone had gone through Neil’s things and put it all back- the same order, the same layers, the same neat folds- but the tags were all pressed flat by a too-careful hand.

Neil only had two secrets within his bag. Conveniently, they were called the same thing. His binder, and his binder.

Something icey-hot bloomed in the pit of Neil’s stomach. His mother would’ve kept silent. Natasha would’ve kept silent. But Neil had inherited his father’s rage, and didn’t know when to shut his mouth.

— — —

“Not here.” Neil warned, panic eating away at him. Kevin barely complied.

It wasn’t until later that Neil told him that it wasn’t just a disguise. That after running he had been Nathaniel, then Alex- Stefan- Chris. He was never really Natasha.

— — —

“Oh, but who are you? Do you have a name?”

“If you need one, call me Abram.”

“Should I believe that?”

“It’s my middle name.”

With no other way to convince Andrew, Neil dragged one of his hands under the hem of his shirt. Rough fingers brushed against soft, scarred skin. His eyes dropped to Neil’s chest at the feel of his binder there.

“Do you get it? I’m able to endure anything Riko throws at me. We’ll both be here when you return.” Neil promised.

“Someone’s lied to me.” Neil understood, but wanted to argue about it. He never claimed to be cis. “These ouchies feel a little rough for a child on the run.”

Oh. Maybe he didn’t care. Maybe he didn’t realize.

“It was a partial truth.” He said without hesitation.

— — —

_“Natasha Wesninski. Kneel.”_

_“I thought you weren’t afraid of my knives, Natasha. Was that a lie to make yourself feel better?”_

_“Who is your king, Natasha?”_

— — —

This was her natural color, and those were her real eyes, and this was her father’s face.

Neil couldn’t breathe.

— — —

“You hate me, remember?”

“Every inch of you,” Andrew said. “That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t eat you out.”

— — —

“Nathan,” he said at last. “His name was Nathan.”

“You don’t look like a Nathan.”

“I’m not,” Neil said through the stones in his throat. “I’m Natasha.”

— — —

He thought he tasted blood, but it was a fleeting tang quickly forgotten as Andrew got his button and zipper undone.

Fingers dipped inside his boxers. He was quick- angry. He rolled fingers and rubbed insistently. Neil couldn’t help the whimpers that escaped him. He tried pulling closer, but Andrew kept distance between them. It was a test of control.

“And- rew-” He didn’t last long, shuddering to climax. His legs clamped down on Andrew’s hand. Andrew kept going, urging him further past the edge. Neil gasped in overstimulation, shaking heavily.

With one last kiss, Andrew took back his hand.

— — —

“Speaking of which, it’s tradition for me to tell a man what I plan on doing with his pieces,” Lola said. Her tone was mocking. She then proceeded to tell him in great detail how she was going to take his corpse apart.

— — —

He traced the outline of a key into his bloody, burt palm with a shaky finger, closed his eyes, and wished Neil Josten goodbye.

Natasha Wesninski let the last few miles fly by unnoticed.

— — —

_“Hello, Natasha,” Nathan said._

_“My daughter. My greatest disappointment in life.”_

_“You’re not going to run away this time, Natasha. I’m not going to let you.”_

— — —

“My name is Natasha Wesninski,” she said, “and my father is dead.”  

— — —

“The same goes for you, Natasha,” Browning said. The foxes shifted as one behind her. She stiffened, but didn’t turn. Natasha reached for Andrew with broken hands, cupping his face. She begged with cold eyes not to start anything.

He settled down, and Natasha brought her icy glare to Browning.

“Don’t lie to a liar,”

— — —

“I told Neil to stay,” Andrew said. “Leave Natasha buried in Baltimore with her father.”  

“Neil Abram Josten,” Neil murmured, and it felt like waking up from a bad dream.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing for All For The Game! I love this series so much. I hope you guys enjoy!


End file.
